Getting Jacen to help out with chores has been one of my greatest battles with him as he grows older. I have spent hours researching different methods of encouraging children to do chores and help out around the house, and have had little to no success...until this summer! Somewhere along the line it occurred to me that maybe Jacen wasn't doing what I expected because I never taught him how! What a novel idea! So I set a goal this summer to spend just one hour a week with each kid, working along side of them and showing them what a job well done looks like. My method in the past had been to give what I felt were clear instructions, and leave Jacen to do the job on his own (I would get too frustrated with him getting distracted and poking around). I am pleased to report that after only 2 months of working along side my kids all three of them are capable of doing a variety of chores on their own, without my help or instruction--even Kalyca!
Here are the chores each child has learned how to do this summer:
Jacen (7): empty and re-load dishwasher, sort and process laundry, clean his room, pick up the main living area, vacuum, put away the kids' clean clothes
Archer (4): sort and process laundry, gather clothes and bed sheets from all of the bedrooms in the house and bring them to the laundry room, pick up the main living area, clear dishes from the table to the kitchen, put away books on the book shelf, dust book shelves and baseboards
Kalyca (22 months): put away silverware, put away toys in a small area (i.e. "Please put all of the dishes back in your kitchen."), find and retrieve items from another room (shoes, diaper, purse, etc.), dust baseboards, gather all of the kids' books and stack them in front of the book shelf, put away clean socks and underwear in the correct drawer.
One major thing I have learned is that there needs to be a limit to the number of chores I expect my kids to do or help with each day. Jacen can easily do 2-3 chores per day, Archer usually does chore on his own, and helps me with one thing I am doing.
Knowing what you're doing is empowering, and, for now, simply knowing what they are doing and having a scheduled chore time at the same time every day has given me three very helpful children this summer. :)
2.Stillness Practice
Anyone who has little boys knows they are not naturally still EVER. Mine are constantly on the move, with their speed and volume set to maximum. After an attempt to eat out earlier this year left this mommy in tears, I decided there had to be a better way. I found it in an interview with Michelle Duggar on "19 Kids and Counting", where she explained that she gets double duty out of her older children's instrumental practices by having her younger children (2-6 years) act as audience. That way her children get practice being still and in control when it is not a "do or die" situation. Brilliant. So, starting the first week of July, my boys have been practicing stillness. I put on calm music (usually classical music or piano hymn arrangements), set out 2 dining room chairs where they will not be tempted to fuss with things or bother each other, and start a timer. If they are still for the designated amount of time, they earn that amount of extra screen time for the day. And, to my surprise, they love it. It was challenging when we started, and they barely made it a full 4 minutes before they were wiggling out of their chairs. Today, 4 weeks later, my 2 crazy boys sat for a full 15 minutes, completely still with hands in their laps. What a victory!
Disclaimer: I am not super mom. For every parenting idea I have that works, I have at least 15 that I try and fail. For every good behavior day, we have at least one day that's equally bad. I just have learned that every child is different, and the more ideas we moms share, the more success we all can have, and the more fun we can have with our kids!
Disclaimer: I am not super mom. For every parenting idea I have that works, I have at least 15 that I try and fail. For every good behavior day, we have at least one day that's equally bad. I just have learned that every child is different, and the more ideas we moms share, the more success we all can have, and the more fun we can have with our kids!
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