I've been thinking a lot about respect lately. Specifically the importance of teaching our kids to be respectful. I have come to the conclusion that respect is a very basic concept, that, when applied to the different areas of life, determine our character. Here's what I mean.

Respect, generally, is an awareness and regard for the people and things around you. Respectful people think about how the other people in the situation are experiencing the same situation. Respect understands that you're not the only person on earth, and acts like it. When truly believed and applied, this is how respect plays out:

Respect for others: Everyone has seen the kid at the mall who is throwing a tantrum because Mom won't buy him a toy or piece of candy. (Any of us who have toddlers have probably been that Mom!) And yes, I believe that's an area where the idea of respect can be applied. Throwing a tantrum is disrespectful to Mom and what she needs to get done that day. And it's disrespectful to the other people in the store who are trying to get their shopping done. Teaching our kids to respect other people is the most natural place to start, because it's all about manners. And when they start using their "please and thank you's", waiting their turn in line, or helping Mom or Dad hold the door so someone else can go first, they will get noticed, in a positive way by the people around them.

Respect for things: I know of schools that have gone to community school supplies (all the crayons go in the teacher's closet and are passed out randomly when needed) because they were having too much trouble with kids breaking their crayons into little pieces or shredding their notebooks. To kids, so many things can become disposable because they are used to having so much. But when kids are taught to view things with respect, realizing they are a gift from God, they can learn that we need to take care of our things, even small things. Because when we don't, we create a mess, both in our living and working space, and in God's world.

Respect for body (yours and others): This is a topic that has been covered all over the internet and news this week due to a teen who lost his masculinity playing a "sack tapping" game with some of his classmates. (If you don't know what it is, don't Google it--I don't want to be responsible for what you find!) Bodily respect is such an important issue, and such a hard one to talk to your kids about. We're starting with Jacen already, explaining to him why he can't be in the room when Mommy is changing, and why he can't come out of the bathroom without his pants on. It's a hard conversation; "private" is something kids have no concept of. But it's so important for them to learn how touching (sexual or violent) can affect them and the people around them. We think of this issue so much with teens and pre-teens, but it's equally important for little kids to learn that rough play hurts people. And can hurt their feelings as well as their bodies.

Respect for self: I am always shocked how often I have come across articles talking about depression or self-image issues in grade school students. Self respect is not an issue that I have come across in our house much yet, as Jacen believes he is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I know it will eventually. And I only hope my kids will be secure in who they are because they know God made them exactly who they are and that He loves them dearly.